How can EQ empower parents?
Emotional intelligence is “being smarter with emotions.
The concept of emotional intelligence or emotional quotient (EQ) has gained popularity and acceptance over the years. How well do you connect with yourself and with others? Your ability to appropriately identify, recognise and manage your emotions for your own well-being as well as the wellbeing of people around you is what is described as emotional intelligence. Your emotional sensitivity, maturity and competency is what ultimately decides your destiny. Can you recognise your emotions and use them to your advantage, can you make out how your behaviour is affecting the people around you? Do you know how to handle stress, frustration, anxiety and conflict? Can you make out the most out of the situations whether good or bad? We will answer some of the questions: What is emotional intelligence? What does it look like? What are it’s different components, and how are they related? How is it different from other concepts? In what ways and to what extent do improvements in emotional intelligence enhance a student’s performance?
These are some of the trends which parents want to know about themselves and about their children. The parents often wonder what determines success? Is it primarily your intelligence level or intelligence quotient (IQ), or is it your personality characteristics, or is it a combination of several things? According to the proponents of emotional intelligence (EQ), a person’s emotional make-up largely determines his or her professional success. They believe that EQ is the most important determinant of the extent of professional and personal success in life. It is interesting to note that so many people with high IQ fail whereas those with less intellectual endowment are extremely successful. Even in certain renowned business establishments, where people are trained to be smart, the most valued and productive managers are those who have a high emotional intelligence level, and not necessarily those with the highest IQ. Such examples abound in business, politics, academia and administration. It is increasingly recognised that IQ may account for only about 20 per cent of a person’s success in life. The remaining 80 per cent depends largely on a person’s emotional intelligence, i.e., EQ. The People are being judged by a new yardstick: how well they are able to handle themselves and others and not merely in terms of their academic qualifications and expertise. This yardstick is increasingly being applied to decisions regarding the hiring and firing of employees, who will be retained and who will be side-lined and who will be promoted. It is said that in the corporate world a person is recruited on the basis of his or her IQ, but is promoted on the grounds of his or her EQ.
These new rules predict who is most likely to become a successful manager and who is most prone to failure. Whatever a person’s vocation, he or she is being measured for traits which are crucial to his or her future marketability. These rules have little to do with what you were taught as important in school and college. The new measures take it for granted that you have the requisite IQ and technical know-how to do your job: it focuses instead on personal qualities, such as initiative and empathy, motivation and awareness, all of which constitute EQ. Simply put, EQ denotes ‘Emotional Quotient’ and is used interchangeably with ‘Emotional Intelligence’, a term derived from ‘Intelligence Quotient’ (IQ). In a layperson’s language this could be defined as knowing what feels good, what feels bad, and how to get from bad to good. A more formal academic definition refers to emotional awareness and emotional management skills, which enable you to balance emotion and reason so as to maximise your long-term happiness. Emotional intelligence includes qualities such as self-awareness, ability to manage moods, motivation, empathy and social skills like cooperation and leadership. Your level of emotional intelligence is neither genetically fixed, nor does it develop only in early childhood. Unlike IQ, which does not increase after adolescence, emotional intelligence is largely learned and continues to develop throughout life and is conditioned by life’s experiences. Unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can be improved throughout life. In the normal course of a lifetime, emotional intelligence tends to increase as you learn to be more aware of your moods, to effectively handle distressing emotions, and to listen and empathise. In short, as you become more mature, you can acquire certain emotional competencies that lead to outstanding performance at work. Some of the negative emotions which require emotional management and regulation are anger, failure, fear, disappointment, frustration, obligation, guilt, resentment, emptiness, bitterness, dependence, depression, loneliness and lethargy. Similarly, positive emotions such as motivation, appreciation, friendship, self-control, satisfaction, freedom, fulfilment, autonomy, peace, desire, awareness, contentment, elation and happiness can be used effectively as and when the situation demands.
Some parents may ask why is it necessary to develop EQ? The reason is that parents with high EQ are happier, healthier and more successful in their relationships. These people strike a balance between emotion and reason, are aware of their own feelings, show empathy and compassion for others, and have high self-esteem. Emotional intelligence can be instrumental in many situations in the workplace and at home.
Anyone can be angry that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way that is not easy.
What do love, happiness, fear, affection, hate, shame, disgust, surprise, sadness, elation and anger have in common? These are emotions that directly affect your day-to-day life. For long, it has been believed that success at the workplace depends on your level of intelligence or intelligence quotient (IQ) as reflected in your academic achievements, exams passed, marks obtained, and so on. In other words, your intellectual credentials are: doing well in school, holding an engineering degree or even an advanced computer degree, obtaining high scores in an IQ test. All these are instances of intelligence of the academic variety. But how smart are you outside the classroom, faced with life’s difficult moments? Here, you need a different kind of resourcefulness. You need, what is called, emotional intelligence or emotional quotient (EQ), which is a different way of being smart. Why is it that the smartest people are not always the wealthiest, and why are some people instantly liked upon introduction, while For the sake of clarity the terms emotional intelligence (EI) and emotional quotient (EQ) will be used interchangeably throughout.
EQ is a powerful set of learnable skills that can help parents to become more aware, make better choices, and be more purposeful.
Research indicates that a higher amount of EQ leads to better health, academic achievement, and stronger relationships. It’s a learnable, measurable, scientifically grounded skill set that helps children in many ways like:
- Effectively deal with emotional turbulences
- Foster positive, healthy relationships
- Spark innovation and resilience
- Nourish empathy, compassion, and inner peace
- Grow as a positive change-maker
Tips to enhance parents eq skill
- Emotionally intelligent parents do not hide their emotions. They express their emotions freely and let their children do the same.
- Emotionally intelligent parents do not ignore their child’s emotions; They rather have emotional sensitivity to recognize, interpret and counsel the children to use their emotions to their advantage.
- Emotionally intelligent parents do not take their children’s emotion-driven behavior personally and display emotional maturity to tackle the situation.
- Emotionally intelligent parents do not shield their children from difficult situations. They motivate the children to deal with difficult situations themselves by managing their emotions with maturity.
- Recognize and name emotions: Tell kids to know how to recognize how they’re feeling and name emotions such as depression, anger, joy, and happiness. Kids need to know how to express their emotions in a socially appropriate way.
- Empathy: the ability to feel how another person is feeling and so understand his/her mood. Parents should have lots of empaths and also give this skill to them.
- Once parents understand their emotions, they will be in a better position how to deal with those emotions in a healthy way. Knowing how to calm themselves down, cheer themselves up, or face their fears are competencies parents should teach their children.